Posts Tagged ‘President Obama’

Who needs a Black friend?

The answers to most of the questions I receive on this website have the same general themes: (1) Have you thought about it from the others perspective? (2) Do unto others (i.e. how would you like if it were done to you) and (3) What do you think (because people usually stop thinking when they can defer to an “expert”). Additionally, the questions are mostly repetitive and/or can be found in my book. Among other reasons, this is why in all these years I’ve resisted writing a follow-up book. “All these years” is significant because the book still sells pretty well.

Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #32,078 in Books  #15 in Books > Reference > Education > Questions & Answers  #22 in Books > Nonfiction > Social Sciences > Sociology > Race Relations > America

And while that’s great for supplemental income, mine is the type of book you’d like to see fade into obscurity for lack of need/interest.

I mean it’s simple (and sometimes funny) to point out our differences. And I could easily cobble together enough new material from this very unchanged post-racial Obama era. But I won’t because as far as I can tell, drawing awareness to and documenting differences (in treatment or behavior) hasn’t caused any major positive shifts. Yes, I know change happens slowly and progress has been made; but we are way behind where we should be race relations wise. Just as knowing better does not mean doing better; neither does acknowledging our differences lead to wide range acceptance or appreciation. And in my opinion, racial tolerance is low sight to set. So, I am leaving it to the comedians, race baiters/mongers and the defenders/racial apologists. Until I can find a meaningful way to address what I see as a not so complex race relation problem, I am exiting ala Dave Chappelle (minus the fame, money and opportunity) and there will be no follow-up.

This is not a concession or acceptance of the status quo. I DON’T believe our problems have been solved or will work themselves out. I DO believe our current adversarial paradigm is due for a major overhaul. And we can do better starting with me. In the future look for something from me that strongly advocates a change in oneself as a first step. Sure, I’ll continue to answer your questions (I am your Black friend afterall) but please consider the themes in the first paragraph before you ask – then buy my book. Thank you.


Why do WE hate US

Your Black friend answers many questions but today has one of her own.

Has “the Man” successfully turned us against ourselves? I mean we have to blame somebody right? The deck is indeed stacked but each generation that preceded us intended that we progress/benefit from their trials. And given all the bloodshed, pain and anguish suffered so that WE might have an opportunity – this is the outcome?

What I see manifested is outwardly directed rage and self-loathing – I don’t know how else to describe it. Black on Black crime, burning and looting our own communities (this I will NEVER understand), an obesity epidemic, HIV/AIDS rates to rival Africa, disdain for education, the popularity of “entertainment” that disparages our rich cultural heritage…shall I continue? And please don’t tell me things aren’t ALL bad – they are bad enough. So bad that we cannot afford to ignore the truth. But first we must be honest with ourselves.

Intra-racism (within the race) is rampant and a leading cause of our dysfunction. Many of us are turned against each other ala Willie Lynch: dark v. light, old v. young, women v. men and add to that the class issue. Yes I understand some of you feel above the fray because you have more money/education – I got mine now go get yours. But as you well know we are ALL painted with the same broad brush. The war against “those” Blacks includes you and your family (even if you don’t claim them) and is coming to your town. Even as you seek to distance yourself you will not be spared the stigma if nothing else. Ask Obama.

Since we’re afraid to even speak of the ills in our community how can we hope to fix them? They’re obvious to any and everyone who is paying attention and/or profiting from our self-destruction. And if someone (in-house) dares to speak the truth (Bill Cosby), no matter if you like how he said it, they get cut off at the knees. And God forbid a non-Black person raise the issue.

We are choking on denial and the stench of our dirty laundry all the while accusing, blaming, crabbing and waiting for THEM to right the wrongs. It ain’t gonna happen. America is all about WIIFM (what’s in it for me?) and until the majority of people realize a humanitarian approach benefits everybody, WE should not expect help where none is forthcoming.  Yes it may be the right thing to do but charity begins at home. I begin my part by not deceiving myself and pretending things will naturally sort themselves out. They will not. I still believe WE (not some non-invested pastor, politician or media commentator etc.) can turn the tide.

WE are the ones we have been waiting for.

Recommended reading: Post-Traumatic Slave Syndrome by Joy Degruy Leary 

Obama Needs YOUR Help!!

If you know me then you know I don’t love President Obama; but that doesn’t mean I hate the man so let’s not make this an either/or proposition. Let’s just say I was never caught under the spell of his special-ness (or skin color). Be that as it may, I do NOT want to see him fail. 

Post-election, I admit to holding high hopes for Obama’s vision. I too was feeling audacious –could WE create some real change in our nation? After witnessing a masterful campaign and the display of an incredible ability to rally and inspire followers, I wanted to believe. And now, I’m just saddened by the lack of follow-through. But that’s where WE the people come in.

The follow-through I’m talking about should have naturally flowed from the fact that Obama is well -versed in community organizing. As it stands, Saul Alinsky would NOT be proud of the fact that Obama built a massive amount of momentum and simply let it dissipate. It’s almost like all of his brilliant outreach and consensus building was for naught. And I have a feeling Obama is sitting in the Oval Office wondering, where my people at? 

Well Obama, your people are waiting to be told what to do, seeking instruction or dare I say…leadership. And by the way, hearing you repeat, “no one said this was going to be easy” does not inspire confidence. It’s like Super Chicken used to say, “you knew the job was dangerous when you took it…” —right?  In politics, the ability to spread your message far and wide, over and above the opposition is critical. Look at Rush Limbaugh’s impact; accurate or not, squeaky wheel gets the grease. So where are all the Obamites to shout down the Dittoheads? I know, I know, it’s so undignified but let’s be real; appearance is everything and your boy is in desperate need of a rally. Just say the word Obama, and like they say in church, “make it plain”.

As reality sets in it’s likely that this deflation of spirit was inevitable; however that’s not a reason to give up hope. Obama is 100% correct in acknowledging that he CANNOT do it alone. And that’s an open invitation for WE the people to get involved. Of course he needs agreement in Congress but Obama was NEVER going to be able to make the kinds of changes he promised without the help of WE the people. It is OUR responsibility to light a fire under the collective ass(es) of our obstructionist Congress and/or be ready (organized) to give them the boot. They serve at OUR pleasure and clearly this fact is something we and they need to be reminded about. Ultimately, now is the time to ask what you can do for your country… and President Obama, it’s time to unveil your iron fist.

 Recommended reading: Unite and Conquer by Kyrsten Sinema 

Your Black friend and Obama

On the heels of Obama’s troop escalation, more and more, things seem much the same.  And although you would never know it through the MSM (mainstream media) there are a great number of disgruntled (former?) supporters, Black and non-Black. Depending on whom you ask, he’s either too focused on Black people or not nearly enough. But when it comes to striking the appropriate racial balance, the man never stood a chance. Good thing he wasn’t elected for that purpose.

Nevertheless, one year out, there’s an upside to Obama’s “poor performance”. Once again, there’s something those folks can agree on and rally around…their disappointment. Turns out he may not be the candidate he campaigned as and they voted for. Go figure…he’s a politician. But, if you voted for him (or not) and so far you’re not happy you have every right to give him a hard time. And don’t let anyone convince you otherwise. That’s what Democracy is supposed to be: government of the people, by the people, for the people. So get out there in your INTERRACIAL dissenting groups and let your unified voice be heard. Yes you can. Power to the people! 

The Book